Engaged Encounter Weekend

Cara and I are looking forward to our wedding in Spokane on October 17, 2009. In an earlier blog, I wrote about our recent progress in the wedding plans. Well, we have checked another big “to do” off the list since then. On March 6th through 8th, we attended our Catholic Engaged Encounter (“CEE”) weekend in Carson Springs, TN. Carson Springs is located about 45 minutes east of Knoxville in the Smoky Mountains and it was beautiful, serene setting for our retreat. Cara and I had heard lots of good things about the retreat from our friends (Scott & Hanna and Colin & Brenna), so we were looking forward to it.

For those of you unaware, the CEE is retreat is a required pre-marital step for a Catholic wedding. The goal of the weekend is to give couples an opportunity to explore and discuss their faith, views, perspectives and goals with a focus on the marriage as a lifelong commitment and sacrament. Our particular retreat had 8 “participant” couples, 2 “presenting” couples, and a priest to help guide us through the “journey.” Overall, the weekend was not quite what we expected. There was very little time provided for discussion and sharing in a group setting with much more of an emphasis on individual and couple time to think/write/talk about the topics and issues raised. Although, this was certainly a great time for Cara and I to grow closer to one another (and we did), we would have enjoyed an opportunity to be exposed to multiple other viewpoints and perspectives. Even the presenters seemed a little bit guarded and scripted in their presentations (they read all of the presentation materials), which created a bit of a dampened energy. However, we were told from the onset that the weekend would be “what we put into it” and it lived up to the billing. Cara and I enjoyed the time away from the mad rush of our lives to focus on us. It was a perfect weekend.

To top it all off, we met a friendly couple that also lives in the Knoxville area, John and Elizabeth. Cara and I had a great time socializing with them in-between sessions during the retreat weekend (John was my roommate) and we left for home with plans to meet up soon. And meet up we did. Two weeks ago, we took them up on an offer to grab some sushi at Nama downtown. It was an awesome night all-around. Good food. Great drink. Wonderful company and conversation. Cara and I are excited for our next “engaged encounter” with our fun new CEE friends!

Thursday Night Pints

We accounting Ph.D. students are a fairly tight knit bunch. This shouldn’t come as a surprise. I think you’ll find that any small group of individuals subject to the same set of rigorous and oftentimes stressful circumstances will tend to band together in support and camaraderie. One of our recent graduates did an incredible job of reaching out to me and the other “newbies” to properly acclimate us to the program. His graduation left the program without a true leader for achieving a similar level camaraderie. Well, that changed when Lane entered the program last Fall. Lane is hands down one of the most inclusive and social individuals I have met. He quickly ascended to the ranks of Ph.D. program social chair and set to work trying to pull the “F.U.N.” out of “Financial Accounting Standards Board” (trust me, it’s in there somewhere).

One of his first acts as governing social chair was instituting Thursday Night Pints, which we students affectionately call “T.N.P.” The premise of T.N.P. is simple. We meet at a Knoxville watering hole at 6pm, kick back with a few pints and some bar grub, and socialize for a couple of hours. Cara is quick to point out that school topics tend to dominate the social time. Though we try our best to steer clear, we always end up back on the topic of school. And Cara never fails to let me hear about it. Lane’s fiancée, Sarah, makes it out to join us most of the time, so she and Cara have happily bonded in their avoidance of accounting Ph.D. program boredom. Lucky them.

Early on, Lane did a bang-up job of mixing up the locations to keep the environments fresh and fun. However, late last semester he found his T.N.P. “Mecca” and he hasn’t looked back since. So, I’ll have to try and push for a little bit of variety to keep things interesting. In the meantime, we have ourselves the official T.N.P. headquarters of the Business School Ph.D. program. Before I “let the cat out of the bag” and name our current headquarters, I thought it might be fun to tour (and review) some of the more memorable T.N.P. hot spots. Here is a quick list (to whet your appetite):

• The Roaming Gnome
• Toddy’s Back Door Tavern
• Cool Beans
• Long Branch Saloon
• Downtown Grill & Brewery (DGB)
• Half Barrel
• Sidestreet Tavern
• Aubrey’s
• The Crown & Goose

Note: The above list of nine includes the name of the current T.N.P. headquarters. But, I’m keeping that a secret for now. I’ll review these prior T.N.P. destinations in a three-part mini-series in the coming weeks right here at Shenooligans, concluding with our current “world headquarters.” Oh boy!

Game Night

There are a ton of reasons why I love Cara. One of these "ton" is that she shares my love of board games. Though our tastes do not mesh 100% (I love me some "Risk" - she does not), we do share quite a few favorites: Scrabble, Scattergories, The Game of Life, and Yahtzee to name a few.

For all my board game experience, Cara has "upped" my games repertoire quite a bit since joining me in Knoxville. She introduced me to the electronic version of Life (Twists & Turns), which is nothing short of incredible. Apples to Apples is a great party game that Cara raved about and it did not disappoint. We enjoyed a rousing game with Scott and Hanna until the wee hours of the morning while we were back in the NW for Christmas Break. And I never quite appreciated Scrabble until Cara and I started dating - it now has a special place in my heart (and I would be remiss if I didn't throw Josh some love for also expanding my love for Scrabble).

The current "most played" game in our house is Yahtzee and in the past week, Cara and I have thrown down on the Yahtzee "field" on a couple different occasions. My early Yahtzee luck has not been good as Cara started things off with a four-match win streak. In the fourth match, Cara rolled three - count 'em THREE - Yahtzees and won in dominating fashion 419-290. Most of the time 290 is going to win a game of Yahtzee. But, it's not going to beat three Yahtzees! My luck did not change in Game 5 - our first of the five we played - as she, once again, emerged victorious. However, my rolling heated up and I took the next four games in a row to make the "season series" a nip-and-tuck 5-4 in Cara's favor.

Tonight, I had been busy working most of the night away and Cara suggested I take a break so we could play another match. I gave her a guilt trip about how I'd have to stay up later, but said that I would be happy to play a round if she didn't mind the guilt. She didn't. We played. She won. 276-260. The series is now 6-4 in Cara's favor and she's got some needed breathing room in our season series. It was such a nice break. I can get pretty consumed in my work at times and I love, Love, LOVE that Cara is quick to offer a distraction. Especially a board game distraction! I can't wait for our next game night!

What is your favorite board game?

Dream On

I tend not to be able to remember my dreams, however I also tend to be quite the "dozer" in the morning (see Cara's blog here and here), so there are times I wake up after dozing with a recollection of my recent "dozing" dreams. A recurring theme I've had involves running, typically running from something or someone. Not necessarily a bad -thing or -one, but still running. Running away.

The setting differs drastically each time, but the theme/mood is the same. I cannot make my legs move fast enough. No matter how much I look down at my legs and think "MOVE," I get no response. No burst. No speed. I cannot help but to plod through my dreams while my "chaser" slowly gains ground.

So I "Googled" dream analysis and clicked through to the following site: (http://www.dreammoods.com/dreamdictionary/r3.htm) to see what it had to say about my dreams. Here are the pertinent excerpts:

"To dream that you are running away from someone, indicates an issue that you are trying to avoid. You are not taking or accepting responsibility for your actions. In particular, if you are running from an attacker or any danger, then it suggests that you are not facing or confronting your fears."

"To dream that you are trying to run but cannot make your feet move as fast as you want them to, signifies lack of self-esteem and self-confidence. It may also reflect your actual state of REM paralysis while in the dream state."

Interesting stuff. I know I do not ooze self-confidence, but I wouldn't say that I lack it either. Could I use more self-confidence at times? Sure. I'd love to be more confident overall. I think it's a positive trait as long as it doesn't become over-confidence or cockiness (which I find totally unappealing). The self-esteem thing may be on point though. Cara has pointed out to me that I can tend to beat up on myself sometimes. And it's true. I am REALLY hard on myself. I tend to let life's minor stresses and anxieties build up until I can't any longer and then I blame myself for not being organized/productive/smart/athletic/funny/happy enough to have dealt with whatever stressors finally got to me. And unfortunately for me (and Cara), the Ph.D. program is flush with stressful moments and anxiety-inducing events.

The first part (me running from someone or something) suggests there may be an issue I am trying to avoid. I openly admit that there are numerous "issues" I am trying to avoid. Taxes, for instance. I do not want to do my taxes. Does that make me any different than 99.9% of the rest of the population? The key issue is that I have NOT done my taxes yet and it is stressing me out. So, I need to "take the bull by the horns" and do my taxes (and any other similar undesirable tasks that I've got on my "to do" list).

I want to point out that in my dream this morning, I was the chaser. It was similar in that I was chasing and running with legs of molasses. But, I was the chaser. Maybe it's a sign that I'm gonna do my taxes today. Maybe it's bigger than that. Perhaps, my mindset is starting to change? Maybe it won't be long before I'm running at full speed in my dreams!

Legen…(wait for it…)

I only recently discovered “How I Met Your Mother” and I cannot believe it took me so long. The show is unbelievably witty, funny, and light-hearted. The characters are fresh, entertaining, and endearing. Most importantly, the storytelling is totally creative. Each episode seems to entail new storytelling angle and I love it. It certainly is a good cure-all for a blue kind of day. In an effort to encourage a little “audience participation,” I am publishing a survey of your favorite “How I Met Your Mother” character. It is a really close competition between my top two. I don’t even know who I’m going to pick, so you’ll have to check back soon to find out.

If you have not seen the show before, I highly recommend it for a light-hearted and fun “escape” from the real world. If you are already on the “How I Met Your Mother” bandwagon, then please cast a vote in my survey! Happy voting!

…oh, and before I forget. DARY! High five!