Teaching for Life, Part II

In an earlier blog, I posted about my first semester in the classroom. I am now well underway into my 2nd semester of teaching and I feel like I'm really starting to come into my own. Yesterday, I was reflecting back on my first semester of teaching the Accounting 200 class. I couldn't help but find it amazing that I had been up in front of a class of 75-100 students three days a week at 8am.* There I was teaching an amazing group of bright-eyed and bushy-tailed (ok, this "bright-eyed, bushy-tailed" part is a stretch) students the ins and outs of accounting.

Reflecting back on the memories of my first semester of teaching seemed absolutely surreal to me...and not for the reason I would have expected. You see, there were times during the semester when I couldn't believe that I was standing in front of such a large "audience". I would flash back to my junior year of high school when a shy, quiet, skinny cross-country runner stood in front of his high school to give a "Vote for Matt Hoag as your ASB Treasurer" speech (Side note: I was the only person running, so the speech was a formality). At the time, I preferred very much to operate behind the scenes. It's not that I wasn't social. I'm certainly an extrovert now, so I had to have been back then. I must have been an extrovert in a bit of a shell. Well, long story short. I won in my "campaign" for ASB treasurer (again, no competition, so this should not be a real shocker) and shipped off to Leadership camp. Surrounded by a bunch of loud, energized, hyper "super-leaders" I felt a bit gun-shy at first. But, by the end of the week I was firmly out of my shell and I haven't looked back since. So, I always believed that any surreal feelings about teaching in a University would be along the lines of "I can't believe that shy high schooler really did this teaching thing!!" Instead, I was shocked when the surreal feelings I felt yesterday was more along the lines of "What the heck took me so long?!?"

The college classroom is where I belong. While the first semester was not without some emotional ups and downs, the second semester finds me much more acclimated to the classroom. I love being able to share my passion and excitement for learning and life with my students. I get such a high out of being in front of the class and I really enjoy challenging myself day-in and day-out to be a better teacher/mentor/advisor. This semester I have two sections of a business capstone course, which I lead on Friday afternoons. Yesterday, I covered a morning section for one of the other instructors who had to be out of town so I found myself in the classroom from 10am until just after 5pm (Note: I was supposed to be done at 4:30pm but for the second straight week I found myself staying after to chat with and mentor my students). I was completely exhausted but it was that good kind of exhausted. I am in my element when I'm in the classroom. I can't get enough of it and most importantly I could not be happier that I am well on my way to fulfilling my life's calling; Professor Hoag has a nice ring to it.

I received my evaluation scores from my accounting class a few weeks ago. There were times when I flat-out dreaded getting my scores. I was sure they were going to be low. There were so many things I knew I could have done - should have done - better. I realize now that I was being ridiculously hard on myself. It was my first semester and I have a lot of "growing" to do for sure in improving as a teacher. In the end, the scores were certainly not high. My class did not do particularly well overall, so that really shouldn't be much of a surprise. But, I did score highly in two areas that really stood out to me, "enthusiasm" and "availability of extra help when needed".

I know that I will make lots of improvements in my lectures (both style and content) as I gain experience. But, I pride myself in being approachable and enthusiastic about what I'm doing and I am so happy that this was visible to my students. Teaching is going to be such an incredible life journey for me and I am so happy that the journey is now well underway!

(*depending on the day, my "official" class size was 120 at the start of the semester and 109 at the end)

Teaching for Life

Now that my dad is showing me up in the blogging department, I figured it was about time for me to hop to it and post a blog.

My semester of teaching has really been an awesome experience -- but, it has certainly been busy too! My Accounting 200 students had an exam last night and of course the week or so leading up to the exam was filled up with tutoring, getting make-up exams sorted out, and all sorts fun administrative mumbo jumbo. On top of that, my BA353 section (where I'm a "business coach") had their Business Plan presentations last Friday (10/24). These count for 25% of their grade in the course so I also had my hands full in the week leading up to the big day to say the least. All in all, I had an extremely busy week and a half to two weeks that is just now starting to simmer down to a low boil...just in time for me to prepare for my 1st early-stage dissertation presentation next Friday.

I'm still struggling in some ways to find my niche in the classroom. I absolutely love teaching, but I still feel like I don't have an identity. I imagine that will develop over time. I get a rush of adrenaline from standing in front of the classroom and I especially enjoy working through problems with students one-on-one or in small group settings in my office. But at the same time, I feel majorly bummed when my students struggle and I take poor exam scores way too personally - it's hard not to have a vested interest in how my students perform. After the first exam, I spent hours examining and analyzing the test scores. I compared my students scores to the scores of students in other sections. I talked to classmates, professors, and even my parents about the emotions that flared up in response to having my students struggle with the material. And at the end of the day, I beat myself up quite a bit over things I could have done to better prepare my students for the exam. With the exam results from the second exam looming, I fear I may be headed down a similar path if my students do not perform up to their expectations.

The ups and downs of the semester have me feeling like I'm on a roller coaster at times. To compensate for the bummed out times, I pour a lot of time into teaching - a whole lot more than my allotted 10 hours a week for Accounting 200. This leaves me shortended on research and feeling a little bit anxious and uneasy about the prospect of trying to juggle all of the academic expectations in the future. I suppose that is part of the learning curve that I must follow - I certainly am learning a lot about myself and the nuances of teaching this semester. And I certainly do not ever plan to stop trying to learn, grow, and develop myself -- it is why I find the academic lifestyle so appealing in the first place.

At the end of the day - this has been one of the more challenging semesters I've faced in the Ph.D. program. I must say I'm more than little bit surprised about that -- I thought my Fall 2007 semester with Economics, Math Economics, and Multivariate Statistics would continue to reign supreme atop my heap of most challenging academic semesters. But, this semester has been surprising -- emotional, energizing, stressful, and all-in-all pretty amazing compressed into a few short months. I love the journey that I am on and most importantly, I have wonderful family and friends who love and support me every step of the way. I would be remiss if I didn't give Cara a big "shout-out" too...she has been such a wonderful strength and support for me in these emotional months. Thanks sweetheart -- I love you more than words.