Teaching for Life, Part II

In an earlier blog, I posted about my first semester in the classroom. I am now well underway into my 2nd semester of teaching and I feel like I'm really starting to come into my own. Yesterday, I was reflecting back on my first semester of teaching the Accounting 200 class. I couldn't help but find it amazing that I had been up in front of a class of 75-100 students three days a week at 8am.* There I was teaching an amazing group of bright-eyed and bushy-tailed (ok, this "bright-eyed, bushy-tailed" part is a stretch) students the ins and outs of accounting.

Reflecting back on the memories of my first semester of teaching seemed absolutely surreal to me...and not for the reason I would have expected. You see, there were times during the semester when I couldn't believe that I was standing in front of such a large "audience". I would flash back to my junior year of high school when a shy, quiet, skinny cross-country runner stood in front of his high school to give a "Vote for Matt Hoag as your ASB Treasurer" speech (Side note: I was the only person running, so the speech was a formality). At the time, I preferred very much to operate behind the scenes. It's not that I wasn't social. I'm certainly an extrovert now, so I had to have been back then. I must have been an extrovert in a bit of a shell. Well, long story short. I won in my "campaign" for ASB treasurer (again, no competition, so this should not be a real shocker) and shipped off to Leadership camp. Surrounded by a bunch of loud, energized, hyper "super-leaders" I felt a bit gun-shy at first. But, by the end of the week I was firmly out of my shell and I haven't looked back since. So, I always believed that any surreal feelings about teaching in a University would be along the lines of "I can't believe that shy high schooler really did this teaching thing!!" Instead, I was shocked when the surreal feelings I felt yesterday was more along the lines of "What the heck took me so long?!?"

The college classroom is where I belong. While the first semester was not without some emotional ups and downs, the second semester finds me much more acclimated to the classroom. I love being able to share my passion and excitement for learning and life with my students. I get such a high out of being in front of the class and I really enjoy challenging myself day-in and day-out to be a better teacher/mentor/advisor. This semester I have two sections of a business capstone course, which I lead on Friday afternoons. Yesterday, I covered a morning section for one of the other instructors who had to be out of town so I found myself in the classroom from 10am until just after 5pm (Note: I was supposed to be done at 4:30pm but for the second straight week I found myself staying after to chat with and mentor my students). I was completely exhausted but it was that good kind of exhausted. I am in my element when I'm in the classroom. I can't get enough of it and most importantly I could not be happier that I am well on my way to fulfilling my life's calling; Professor Hoag has a nice ring to it.

I received my evaluation scores from my accounting class a few weeks ago. There were times when I flat-out dreaded getting my scores. I was sure they were going to be low. There were so many things I knew I could have done - should have done - better. I realize now that I was being ridiculously hard on myself. It was my first semester and I have a lot of "growing" to do for sure in improving as a teacher. In the end, the scores were certainly not high. My class did not do particularly well overall, so that really shouldn't be much of a surprise. But, I did score highly in two areas that really stood out to me, "enthusiasm" and "availability of extra help when needed".

I know that I will make lots of improvements in my lectures (both style and content) as I gain experience. But, I pride myself in being approachable and enthusiastic about what I'm doing and I am so happy that this was visible to my students. Teaching is going to be such an incredible life journey for me and I am so happy that the journey is now well underway!

(*depending on the day, my "official" class size was 120 at the start of the semester and 109 at the end)

Fantasy Football Flop

Every year, I look forward to the fantasy football season. When I started playing fantasy football a few years ago, I found it to be much more exciting then I could have imagined. I don't know why this came as such a surprise, seeing as I always loved sports, statistics, and playing the role of manager. Travel back in time to my formative years as an apsiring young baseball GM. I think I was about 10 years old and I had an early NES baseball game, Bases Loaded 2 (which, according to this review is quite the crappy game). No matter what "The Video Game Critic" says, I rather enjoyed that the game only tracked stats for each game on an individual basis. This gave me a prime opportunity to keep track of the stats myself for each of my players and the top players on other teams. So, I religiously and meticulously kept stats; calculating batting averages, on-base percentages, ERA...and even doled out post-season awards based on the year-long performances I had kept track of. And you wonder how I became an accountant...

Needless to say, I am a bit of a fantasy football junkie. On top of giving me my "stats fix" the league I have joined keeps me in contact with friends back home, which is also a plus. As if this wasn't enough, there is money involved and the top team each year bring home nearly $400. I placed 2nd a couple of years ago and scored a cool $190. After a flop season last year, I hit this year charged and ready to dominate. I got the #3 pick in the draft, a good spot with 14 teams in our league. I drafted with an emphasis on running backs, as I wanted to lay the foundation for a strong playoff push (running backs pick up steam as the year goes on and the weather starts getting ugly). I also drafted Eli Manning for his late season heroics last year (though, I really cannot stand the guy) the gritty Pittsburgh Steeler defense (more on that later). My receiver picks were admittedly quite week. Overall, here is how the draft played out for me (overall pick # in parentheses):

• 1st Round: Brian Westbrook, RB (#3)
  
• 2nd Round: Lawrence Maroney, RB (#26)
• 3rd Round: Thomas Jones, RB (#31)
• 4th Round: Dallas Clark, TE (#54)
• 5th Round: Hines Ward, WR (#59)
• 6th Round: Eli Manning, QB (#82)
  
• 7th Round: Pittsburgh, DST (#87)
• 8th Round: Sidney Rice, WR (#110)
  
• 9th Round: Ray Rice, RB (#115)
  
• 10th Round: Deuce McAllister, RB (#138)
  
• 11th Round: Vince Young, QB (#143)
  
• 12th Round: Ernest Wilford, WR (#166)
  
• 13th Round: Neil Rackers, K (#171)
  
• 14th Round: Matt Jones, WR (#194)
  

As the early season unfolded, I hit the waiver wire (signing free agents and dropping current players to make roster room) like a banshee. At $0.50 per transaction fee, I may have exceeded the GDP of some small nations in revenue for our free agent pot. It didn't take long before my current roster looked nothing like the draft-day roster. As the playoffs opened last week, only 7 of the original 14 players remained on the active roster (and it would have been only 6 had I not picked up Matt Jones again recently - I dropped him earlier in the season when he faced suspension for possession of cocaine...yeah, he's a winner). All of this moving and shaking did pay off to some degree. After a bit of a slow start (which was plagued by injuries, earning my team the name Westbrook's Walking Wounded, or "WWW"), my team began to pick up some steam. As the regular season drew to a close, I climbed steadily to the top of the standings and finished with a #1 seeding heading into the playoffs. "WWW" was by no means dominant. My regular season title was helped greatly by the easiest strength of schedule (meaning I played my opponents, on average, during weeks when they scored most poorly). But, with Westbrook returning to form after an injury-plagued early season and Thomas Jones serving as a much needed workhorse, I felt good about my chances heading into the playoffs.

My team's #1 seeding would be an empty victory if I couldn't convert wins in the playoffs and claim the top prize. In week 1 of the playoffs, I geared up for a gritty re-match with "Obnoxious Hawkfan," coached by none other than Jeff Hyatt. As his name implies, Jeff is a Seahawks fan through and through. Obnoxiously so, in fact. His team was eager to avenge a narrow (0.60 pt), and frankly quite ridiculous come from behind Week 4 victory for my squad when our teams squared off in the regular season. This narrow victory was fueled by the Steelers defense who rallied late in 4th quarter of Monday Night Football to score 15 of my teams 60 pts that week. To be fair, I should not have won that game. I knew it. Jeff knew it. We geared our teams up for what was sure to be a hostile battle.

As our much anticipated playoff matchup drew near, I began looking over my roster to decide my starters for the week. Fueled by my running game, my team had the edge on paper as early favorites. However, my vaunted Pittsburgh defense (who have been absolutely dominant all year) had an ominous match up against Dallas' high-powered offense. I began to think long and hard about an alternative. So, I looked at my bench and made a decision I would come to regret. Out came Pittsburgh's DST and in came the DST for the New England Patriots. The hated, despised, god-awful New England Patriots. I could hardly believe what I was doing; placing my playoff hopes in the hands of the Patriots defense and Eli Manning. Odd, considering I can hardly stand seeing either of these "entities" succeed in any way, shape, form or fashion. So, why would I do such an odd thing?

I'm almost embarrassed to admit it. I made a plain and simple indefensible decision. I made a decision that defies all logic in a fantasy football league filled with die-hard Seahawks fans as I squared off against obnoxiously vocal supporter of the boys in blue and green. But, after much reasoning, I made a decision I felt would propel my fantasy team to a 1st round playoff victory based on the following justification:

The Patriots injury-plagued defense was squaring off against the lowly, meek, and offensively-challenged Seahawks and surely they would perform better than Pittsburgh's defense.

I was so sure of this, I was willing to bet against the Seahawks. That's right - I was betting AGAINST my home team. It makes me nauseous now to even read those words.

People like me are the reason fantasy football gets a bad rap. Critics argue that playing fantasy football forces you to go against your allegiances and make decisions that contradict what is the best for your home team. The criticisms are well explained here. And here. I could go on, but I'll spare you all the wild Internet goose chase. In short, my story is not unique. Fantasy owners face this trap week in and week out. Do you choose what is best for your fantasy team (which may have a real financial impact) or do you sacrifice your fantasy team for your "real world" team loyalties? I both faced and fell into the trap.

The morning of our big matchup, I had a severe case of "second thoughts". The guilt nearly got me to bench the Patriots in favor of Pittsburgh. But, I didn't. I couldn't. I guess that I needed to learn a lesson. As the matchup got underway, I had a sinking feeling that Bad Karma was going to strike. Boy, did it ever.

The Bad Karma seemed to strike Obnoxious Hawkfan first. As the sun rose on our playoff matchup, Jeff's team was confronted with injuries to both of it's starting RBs. He quickly installed back-up RBs and at the last minute named Matt Schaub starter at QB. These critical last-minute moves gave Obnoxious Hawkfan a spark right out of the gate. Matt Schaub outscored Eli Manning (my QB) 26 to 9 (thanks Eli!!). It was a gap that my team would not make up. In this case, I didn't DESERVE to pull out another ridiculous come from behind win. The same Steelers defense that had carried my team to a razor-thin margin-of-victory against Jeff's team in Week 4 sat on my bench as the stupid-head Patriots took the field against the Seahawks. The Seahawks scored a TD on their opening drive. A sinking feeling set in as I watched Pittsburgh's defense run roughshod over the hapless Cowboys. The stark reality of the situation hit me. I had bet against my Seahawks and I deserved to lose...and I was going to lose. I was so certain, I changed my team's name to Bad Karma.

As the Seahawks scored another TD, I cheered. I realized that losing my 1st round playoff matchup would be a small setback as long as the Seahawks scored a million points on the Patriots. Who cared if I lost my matchup and the chance at the 1st prize. At least the Seahawks were going to beat the Patriots. Bad Karma was going to strike my fantasy football team, but at least it didn't get a hold of the Seahawks. I felt a twinge of relief.

Unfortunately, this relief was short-lived.

When the dust settled on the day, the Steelers defense posted a dominant 24 point effort against Dallas. New England could only manage 3 points against a surprisingly feisty Seahawks offense. However, the %&@$'ing Patriots returned to New England victorious with a last minute victory over the now 2 and 11 Seahawks. ARGH!! The Bad Karma of my decision echoed from Knoxville to the Emerald City. A quick survey of the damage reveals:

• The newly minted Bad Karma (fka Westbrook's Walking Wounded) lost to Obnoxious Hawkfan by 14 points, no small margin. However, considering that my team lost out on 21 points because I IMMORALLY picked the wrong defense, victory was certainly within reach for me on that fateful day.
• My team lost the 1st game of the playoffs and now only plays for pride.
  
• I lost out on the prize money, which is no small thing for a starving graduate student who is trying to save up for a wedding next Fall. Especially considering that I contributed a small nation's GDP worth of cash to the free agent pot in my league.
  
• Most importantly, I lost a little bit of my soul because I bet against my beloved Seahawks.

Rest assured, I've learned a valuable lesson. Never again will I bet against my boys in blue and green. From this day forward, I will not let my quest for Fantasy Football gold come at loss of my better judgment. I will return next season, ready to once again pursue the vaunted 1st prize. But this time around, I'm going to do it the "right" way.

Go HAWKS!!

Teaching for Life

Now that my dad is showing me up in the blogging department, I figured it was about time for me to hop to it and post a blog.

My semester of teaching has really been an awesome experience -- but, it has certainly been busy too! My Accounting 200 students had an exam last night and of course the week or so leading up to the exam was filled up with tutoring, getting make-up exams sorted out, and all sorts fun administrative mumbo jumbo. On top of that, my BA353 section (where I'm a "business coach") had their Business Plan presentations last Friday (10/24). These count for 25% of their grade in the course so I also had my hands full in the week leading up to the big day to say the least. All in all, I had an extremely busy week and a half to two weeks that is just now starting to simmer down to a low boil...just in time for me to prepare for my 1st early-stage dissertation presentation next Friday.

I'm still struggling in some ways to find my niche in the classroom. I absolutely love teaching, but I still feel like I don't have an identity. I imagine that will develop over time. I get a rush of adrenaline from standing in front of the classroom and I especially enjoy working through problems with students one-on-one or in small group settings in my office. But at the same time, I feel majorly bummed when my students struggle and I take poor exam scores way too personally - it's hard not to have a vested interest in how my students perform. After the first exam, I spent hours examining and analyzing the test scores. I compared my students scores to the scores of students in other sections. I talked to classmates, professors, and even my parents about the emotions that flared up in response to having my students struggle with the material. And at the end of the day, I beat myself up quite a bit over things I could have done to better prepare my students for the exam. With the exam results from the second exam looming, I fear I may be headed down a similar path if my students do not perform up to their expectations.

The ups and downs of the semester have me feeling like I'm on a roller coaster at times. To compensate for the bummed out times, I pour a lot of time into teaching - a whole lot more than my allotted 10 hours a week for Accounting 200. This leaves me shortended on research and feeling a little bit anxious and uneasy about the prospect of trying to juggle all of the academic expectations in the future. I suppose that is part of the learning curve that I must follow - I certainly am learning a lot about myself and the nuances of teaching this semester. And I certainly do not ever plan to stop trying to learn, grow, and develop myself -- it is why I find the academic lifestyle so appealing in the first place.

At the end of the day - this has been one of the more challenging semesters I've faced in the Ph.D. program. I must say I'm more than little bit surprised about that -- I thought my Fall 2007 semester with Economics, Math Economics, and Multivariate Statistics would continue to reign supreme atop my heap of most challenging academic semesters. But, this semester has been surprising -- emotional, energizing, stressful, and all-in-all pretty amazing compressed into a few short months. I love the journey that I am on and most importantly, I have wonderful family and friends who love and support me every step of the way. I would be remiss if I didn't give Cara a big "shout-out" too...she has been such a wonderful strength and support for me in these emotional months. Thanks sweetheart -- I love you more than words.